John Mahar's Blog

Education, Spanish, Travel, Poems, Bonnaroo reports, and more.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

In the destructive wake of yet another big hurricane, the nation mourns. But we need action. Where's Donald Rumsfeld's evil destructive warmongering genius when you need it?

I examined the rumors, and found that the source of the hurricanes is Las Canarias, a chain of islands located off the coast of Morroco. That's in western Africa, for those non-geographically inclined readers. So now we have a place to bomb. I suggest to all you voting Americans that you get on a letter write now, haha. Get it, write now.

If you have any doubts, don't worry. I just came from Las Canarias, and the people there are a bunch of losers. They speak Spanish even though they are not Spaniards, geographically. How about claim your own language? What a loss.

Here's a picture of the source of the evil hurricanes. It looks benign, but, trust me, bombs should fall.

Friday, September 16, 2005

I wrote a poem:

free the burros
they've been held too long
free the burros
quit watching cheech and chong

get off your lazy butt
and do the world some good
the burros are tied up
they'd run if they could

well, maybe they wouldn't run
but at least they'd bite the strays
down here in mexico
you see about 20 per day

have you ever seen a burro
running free in its glory?
it's a feeling you couldn't get
from that Don Quiote story.

set the burros free
they're so often beaten
cut that cord quick
it is justice we're a seekin'

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

My name is John Mahar, and I am a world traveler. This is my first blog. A long time ago I had my first email. I shared it with some friends, and one of them eventually completely hacked it and doesn't share with me any more. So now I Wander the World with no way to communicate to my homies. Alas.

Now I'm gonna rant about the HURRICANE that happened in the United States.

What we need, clearly, is a war on HURRICANES. They kill innocent people by the hundreds, and there are more of them every year, it seems like. Some say it's because of global warming. I don't care where they come from, what religion they are, or how many people think they're cool. They are evil, and in this time of crisis we need to circle our wagons and launch an all-out full-scale earth-shattering attack. Humans versus Hurricanes.

Of course, the United Nations will be slow to react, so we need to start this fight on our own. In your own home, your own BASEMENT. You can begin the fight that may define the next century. Don't be scared. It's a big committment. If you're a ninny this isn't going to be something you can help very much with.

We've had the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war formerly known as the war on terrorism. Now it's time for a winnable war.

You know what they say, a stitch in time saves nine. I say we are already beyond nine stitches to fix this hurricane problem. But if we keep waiting, they will destroy every coastal city there is in the southeastern United States. Then which state will we blame the stolen 2000 election on?